This is a lamp! You can find it here
"I had to hang up with you because I had someone standing in my doorway waving a paper around to catch my attention. So I turn around to see a guy with dark brown, thick, thick glasses, missing three teeth [without me trying to count the lost ones], untucked black and red flannel paired over a food stained [I think the original color was] white tee shirt, and a badge. Crap. He's an employee, so now I have to help him.
He wants to know if I will type something in to the computer for him. Um, what? He wants more information on something he saw in the news and doesn't know how to access it. Um, ok.
I just know his breath is going to smell so I tell him to head to a computer and I'll be right with him. Deep breath of clean air and I'm off to help him.
He literally wants me to type - here's where you get to start snickering - "20th Annual International UFO Convention, Scottsdale, Arizona" into the search bar. Apparently the conference is running Feb. 24th through the 27th and he wants information to attend.
I managed to stop from slapping my forehead or him. I explained that these computers are to be used for business or educational purposes. He tries to argue with me that he wants to learn about UFOs. By now, I'm backing away none too slowly. I attempt to explain that learning about UFOs will not assist him with his job performance nor will it impact patient safety, so therefore it is not an acceptable use of company property [while still backing towards my office].
No joke, the guy stands up so quick he knocked over the chair, and with spit flying [how could it not fly? he's got no teeth to hold it in] he proceeds to tell me that it impacts HIS safety because he's been abducted before and they MIGHT be coming for him again [apparently the aliens might need more teeth] so he NEEDS to learn how to PROTECT himself.
I looked at the other three patrons and at the same moment, we all started laughing uncontrollably. I think I might have uttered something like 'Tin foil hats should work' before I made it to my office. I shut my office door. I'm so done for the day."
He wants to know if I will type something in to the computer for him. Um, what? He wants more information on something he saw in the news and doesn't know how to access it. Um, ok.
I just know his breath is going to smell so I tell him to head to a computer and I'll be right with him. Deep breath of clean air and I'm off to help him.
He literally wants me to type - here's where you get to start snickering - "20th Annual International UFO Convention, Scottsdale, Arizona" into the search bar. Apparently the conference is running Feb. 24th through the 27th and he wants information to attend.
I managed to stop from slapping my forehead or him. I explained that these computers are to be used for business or educational purposes. He tries to argue with me that he wants to learn about UFOs. By now, I'm backing away none too slowly. I attempt to explain that learning about UFOs will not assist him with his job performance nor will it impact patient safety, so therefore it is not an acceptable use of company property [while still backing towards my office].
No joke, the guy stands up so quick he knocked over the chair, and with spit flying [how could it not fly? he's got no teeth to hold it in] he proceeds to tell me that it impacts HIS safety because he's been abducted before and they MIGHT be coming for him again [apparently the aliens might need more teeth] so he NEEDS to learn how to PROTECT himself.
I looked at the other three patrons and at the same moment, we all started laughing uncontrollably. I think I might have uttered something like 'Tin foil hats should work' before I made it to my office. I shut my office door. I'm so done for the day."
Is it just me, or do those eyes look like olives? Damn, now I want a Martini.
Picture borrowed from here
Yes my friends ... there WILL be Zombies, but there are no aliens.
Oh my. I'm so sorry you had what truly was probably a Close Encounter of the Fourth Kind.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought about this: what if there ARE aliens and they are the ones who will be turning US into zombies so they can gleefully watch us destroy our entire race by eating our own brains? Things that make you go hmmmm.
Oh damn. That really does make make me go hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'd be ok with that, since it does bring about zombies. But damn, now I might have to rethink my stance on aliens.